Crosslife Church

I feel the need to share something very personal with you because there are many out there who are going through the same thing and need to know there is hope. Also, those friends and family around them need to know and understand what their loved one is going through. This may be a lengthy post:

 

Have you ever heard the statement, “God will not allow more to be put on you than you are able to bear?” I’m sure most have. However, most people do not know that God never gives this promise. The Bible actually says,

 

“No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it” (1 Corinthians 10:13, ESV).

 

There are certain trials and experiences which tend to be isolating in nature, and chronic pain is one of those things. It really is, something you cannot understand unless you have experienced it for yourself. I’m not talking about pain that comes after an injury or surgery that is temporary until you’ve healed or the problem is addressed like a bad tooth being removed. I’m talking about pain that never goes away and never relents.

 

I cannot tell you how this has profoundly affected my life. I have three children, 12, 7, and 5 who look to me for guidance, provision, protection, and (most importantly to them) play. My two youngest have never known their Daddy to not be in pain. It's hard when they ask you to keep twirling them on the tire swing to tell them you can’t; you have to go sit down or go lay down in the car. It's hard when they want you to come eat dinner with them at the table, but you can’t get out of bed. It's hard when you are wrestling with your son, but you have to stop in mid-battle because you’ve reached your limit.

 

It's hard as a husband, whose wife looks to you for strength, and companionship. It's frustrating when intimacy is hindered because the pain is too much that night. It's heartbreaking when you have to let the home you worked so hard to pay for, go back.

 

Its discouraging when I have been renovating our home (new to us) cause it was eaten up with termites, the wiring was shot, and the plumbing duck taped together, and it had to be torn out to the dirt and to the studs, yet 99% of it I have done with zero help, even though I was only 4 months out from major back fusion surgery. A job I used to could have done in 4 months by myself (if not less) but has now taken 1.5 years. It really hurts when someone complains or offers an opinion on it taking so long but where were they when after working from 8 am to 10 pm, I could not even sit up to get out of bed to go to the bathroom without help.

 

It's hard when Christians tell you that God will heal you if you just claim it and have enough faith. I’ll let you know right now to take that word of faith nonsense somewhere else. I know God can heal me, but if he doesn’t, it isn’t because my faith comes up a little bit too short. This is not what the Bible says.

 

It’s hard when you hear rumors through the grapevine that the reason you’re in the condition you are in is because of some secret sin in your life. When my back first went bad, I actually heard someone say, behind my back (pardon the pun), that I was being punished because I had turned in a former Pastor for having an affair. I had touched God’s anointed… I say, Bologna. God would not punish the righteous for uncovering the sins of the wicked. I’m often amazed that those who make such accusations never seem to connect the hardships in their lives to their not-so-secret sins.

 

It also does no good for many readers not to admit, if you know of or are close to someone with chronic pain, that sometimes you think, “They are just exaggerating… they need just to toughen up… I hurt sometimes, and I still get up and go… they’re just hooked on pain medicine” If you do not feel this way then I am glad, but I have met far too many that do.

 

 

There are many people today that are addicted to opiates who never intended to be drug addicts. By God’s Grace, He has kept me from it, but I understand what people go through. There are times that the pain is so great that medicine doesn’t even help, and the person with no discipline will take an extra pill to catch up with the pain. Over time it takes more and more as their body builds up resistance. Soon they run out of their prescriptions too early and have to buy it illegally to both stop the pain and to prevent themselves from getting dope sick. If this describes you, please do two things: 1) Come to Christ. 2) Check yourself into a rehab facility to get clean and to get help in rebuilding your life.

 

To prevent the above situation from happening to you, do not allow yourself to be isolated. Get in a support group and try to have as active a life as you can to distract yourself from the pain. Another step I took was to switch to a medicine called Nucynta. It works on different receptors and thus does not have the euphoric effects of other opiates or the issues with dependency. I made a choice, with my doctor, to switch to this medicine even if it was less effective because I have too much to lose even to chance it. Please talk with your doctor about it.

 

I had some ideas when I sat down to write this post, but did not know precisely what would come out. I tried to be as real and open as possible. I hope that whoever you fall on this topic, that it has given you a better understanding and hope. Be there for your fellow man. Try to understand them and support them. And always, trust in Christ.